No More Orphans

This is an essay from a Civics homework assignment, written by a 14 year old girl who was adopted from China 3 years ago. I found this posted on another blog and thought it was worth repeating.

Btw, if this works, this is the first time I ever used my copy and paste function on my computer...and I'm 40. And NO I did NOT need my hubby for this, or my 13 year old who is smarter than me! Actually, my almost 5 year old is smarter than me as well when it comes to electronics. Anywho, thought this was the perfect post for Jan 1!

Here it is with part of the original blogger (Dennis and Ellen at "For the Sake of the Dream" blog) introducing it:

I want to share with you an essay from a Civics homework assignment, recently written by a 14 year old girl who was adopted from China 3 years ago. I know prior to getting into the adoption process, we had no idea of what being an orphan meant, not only during the person's childhood, but also after they age out of orphanages.  

Could God be calling you to come to the aid of orphans around the world?

I Believe There Should Be No Orphans

By Agnes Tucker

Once upon a time, three years ago before I was adopted, I lived 11 y

ears as an orphan. That life wasn’t as pretty as the life I have now. Although I miss my country and the other children I grew up with, I prefer this life. I lived with 600 other orphans who are still hoping to have the life I have now. People here have more than they need I have noticed, but yet they still cry that they are poor. To be considered that they are poor, it should be that they don’t have water; they should be starving, have no clothes, no car or any means of communications.

In civics and economics, I learned about scarcity were people have unlimited wants and limited resources. Well this is the definitely the case when you are an orphan. But whether you believe it or not, none of you, not even the beggars on the street in America, have faced the real life of an orphan. Because you have parents and do not have any of the things mentioned in the first paragraph. Being an orphan means you don’t get to see the outside world. The only thing you do is look outside through the same window everyday expecting someone to come for you. And when they don’t, sometimes you break into tears or accept what just happened as if you are tough.

I had been looking through my window for 11 years. And finally my time came. But before it came, I wondered if it did come, what will happen to the other orphans who are my family, friends and everything to me? Tears rolled down on my cheeks anytime I thought about the time they will age out of the orphanage. They only have one year left now for them to age out. They will be thrown into those dark, dirty streets. What will happen to them out there? Many things can happen to them.

Those streets are scary, I have seen them before. They are dirty because diseases travel through that air like blood travels through our bodies. People are raped and hurt on those streets. They have to hunt for food and they will be lucky if they find a piece of bread. Children die out there because of the dirty environment they are in. Imagine being on the streets, you wear the same clothes until they tear apart but still you wear them. Imagine sleeping outside on concrete, no blanket and no showers and no shoes. All these things make me cry and the sad thing is it’s true, real and happening right now.

That’s why I believe that there should be no orphans, because we’ve all got what it takes to save the life of an orphan. We got more than what we need, and it won’t hurt us to share what we’ve got. If we do this all together, I promise they will be no orphans left."

It's Official!!!

Yep...

We're adopting again!!!!

Yippee!!!

More kiddos!! Yay!!

More paperwork for me to do....sigh.

Y'all, I hate paperwork. My brain doesn't do paperwork. 

It is single-handedly my GREATEST fear...my greatest mountain to climb. But somehow God got me through it last time.

So we'll do it again...me, God, and all the people I have to enlist to help me decode questions. :)

Here's ONE example of my paperwork nightmares:

Me: Hey, what does nationality mean? Do they want to know my nation? Do I put "American" or do I put "U.S."? Or should I put USA?

Hubby: Seriously, Lisa? 

Then he sighs and says, "What would you do without me?"

Nothing. The answer would be "nothing." See? I know the answer to HIS questions, but not the adoption agency's!! 

So here's the story in a fast re-cap:

I thought I was done. (Don't ever tell anyone you're done...and don't tell God you're done either.)

Then one day it happened. I turned around in the car (see last post) to see who was missing. It felt like someone was missing from my vehicle even though I could clearly see they were all there. That may sound bizarre, but it happened ALL THE TIME before Johnny and Lily. Someone was missing...but both my kiddos were in the car...and now it was happening again.  I dismissed it even though I recognized that oh-too-familiar feeling. Anywho, I started reading blogs again, looking at photolisting sites of children from China again. I was being drawn like a moth to a flame!!! Ugh!! What was happening to me?

I kept ignoring my familiar feelings.

And then one day my husband was preaching and asked how many people read a chapter a day in Proverbs. He said to just start reading the chapter with whatever day we happened to be on in the month. I thought, wow, I haven't done that in awhile, so that night I began reading...then I got to Proverbs 24 (so it was Nov. 24) and I got to verse 11 and 12 and I started to bawl.

vs. 11 Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.

vs. 12 If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not He who guards your life know it? Will He not repay everyone according to what they have done?

The emphasis to me was on verse 12. My eyes have been opened and I could NOT pretend I didn't know there were children going to bed at night without a mother or father. 

Without a family. 

You may say that verse 11 doesn't apply...that they're not staggering toward slaughter. Umm...have you been to other nations? Where there is no joy? Where God is not allowed?

Their faces are empty. Sad, blank, and empty. They have no hope.

Yes, they are like a group of people...staggering...with no hope.

I had tried to go back to my old life of being blinded to the plight of the orphan...and I just could NOT do it. God would not let me...he was holding me accountable to act...to respond. I tried to tell God I'd pray for them. I would tell others about adoption. 

But that wasn't enough.

I'm supposed to do it myself.

Adopt.

Again.

We will go back to China for two more. :) I'm at the very beginning of this process. I may be the only person who took 18 months for our last adoption and I'd really love for it to not take that long but I'm not holding my breath. My home study took double  the time, my LOA took double the time, paperwork got sent back, yada, yada. I'll just trust God on His timing this time around because not ONE thing went faster because of all my ranting to God about it.

Patience.

I will learn patience. :)

(Yeah, right.)

Let It Snow!!!

Oh yeah, baby...we got dumped on!! What do I care...there wasn't any school yesterday so I stayed home all day with the kiddos. We had lots of fun...watched Kung Fu Panda and ate popcorn and Dots. And of course, took the kids outside to play. This was Johnny and Lily Anna's first experience with snow. Johnny said it got really cold in China but he never saw snow. (He was in a northern province). And I knew Lily had never seen it because she was in southern China. Ok, enough with the yada, yada...so let's take a guess: Who loves snow?

And guess who hates snow: Yep, the Southern girl. She hated it. She said it was icky. 

She lasted 10 minutes outside...actually, more like 7. Or 6.

So big bro was so sweet, took her by the hand and brought her in.

But before that happened, she entertained us by falling over on her back (actually she was pushed by Brianna...sigh) and remember the clip from "A Christmas Story" where the little brother is so bundled up he falls over and can't get up? Yep, that was Lily. She rolled and rolled. I had mercy on her and helped her up. 

Oh Lily, it sure is hard being chubby. That jelly belly just won't give when you're rolling around in the snow like a tomato. :)

Btw, can you all believe I'm posting and it's not even a month later??? 

It's because I've been up since 2:00 am for no reason at all...or is there? The last time this happened God was prepping me for two little kiddos from China. And I was up yesterday at 3:00 am. Hmmm... 

Just last week I was backing out of the garage (not the time when I took my mirror off...that's another story...forget I mentioned that) and looked in the van to see who was missing. Nope...all 4 kiddos were there. But it felt like someone was missing. The last time this happened....well, I'll just stop there. :)

Btw, guess who looks all grown up going to her Teen Christmas party at church?

 Big brother doesn't look half bad either (even with the red eye...ugh...I WILL learn how to touch up photos in 2013). 

I'm so proud of them! They love God, they love church, and they love their family. What mama wouldn't be proud?

10 Months!!

Yesterday marked 10 months with Johnny and tomorrow marks 10 with Lily. It's been amazing watching all their "firsts" with us! 

First day of school (yes his hair was still wet for my pics!)

Lily Anna's first day of Pre-school

First time playing in leaves. Fall is my absolute favorite season!!

I loooooove this picture!!!! Look at those faces!!

First Halloween

First Thanksgiving (they decided they like chicken more than turkey!)

This isn't a first...I just love their outfits, ha ha. Blurry pic but, wow, these 

kiddos should model for Gap!!

And decorating their first Christmas tree.

While I am the sentimental type, I also love the comical things that happen with these firsts. Here are a few:

One day Johnny asked me when Christmas was and I replied, "It's right around the corner, Johnny." He got an excited look on his face and ran around the corner to look and then got confused and said, "Where?" I laughed so hard and had to explain that "around the corner" doesn't literally mean "around the corner!"

A few weeks ago we were decorating the outside of the house. My hubby was on the roof hanging a wreath on the house when Johnny yelled up at him in a very matter-of-fact voice, "Don't fall down and die, Baba."

Not to mention with all these firsts, I have to explain why we do what we do. Do you realize how stupid us Americans look to this 6 year old Chinese boy? I remember thinking, "This boy thinks we're nuts!" Here are some examples of what I've tried to explain to him:

"Johnny, Halloween is coming up. We have to pick out your costume!"

"What's Halloween?"

"It's a day where everyone dresses up in a costume. You can dress up like a super-hero!"

"Why you do that?"

"Umm...I don't know."

"Everybody does it?"

"Yes."

"Why? Who told everyone to do it? Why you all do that?"

"Umm...I really don't know. It's for fun. We do that in America, Johnny. We get dressed up like weird things on one day of the year for no reason what-so-ever." 

And Christmas:

"Johnny, it's time to set up the tree for Christmas!"

"Where you get the tree?"

"Well, some people get a real one from outside."

"What??? Why you do that??"

"Well, we bring it in and decorate it with lights and then put presents under it."

"What?? Why you do that?? Why you bring in a tree? Tree goes outside!! Just leave it outside. Why you bring a tree in your house?? That's yucky. Why you stick lights on it??"

"Ummm...for fun. But you're going to get presents. I wrap them and put them under the tree."

"What??? Why you do that??? Why you buy a toy and wrap it up? That makes no sense!"

The next time he says, "Why you do that?" I'm going to reply, "Because we're morons, Johnny. Americans are morons. We do things for no reason at all and we have too much time on our hands." I'm sure that answer will satisfy him because I know that's what he's thinking anyway! :)

Hope you all have a blessed Christmas!!!

9 Months!!

Nine months??? Seriously? I cannot believe it...I had to count (on my fingers, of course) to make sure I had this right...nine months!

How's it going? Perfect, actually, thanks for asking!

 Playing piano with Baba

Thumb wrestling with Baba

Things really are going fantastic. Johnny and Lily were both in foster care in China and I am starting to really grasp how beneficial this has been for us that they were. Neither of them have any issues that is sometimes associated with being raised in an orphanage. 

Johnny is extremely helpful and likes to set the table and clear it when we're done eating. I never even have to ask him to take his plate to the sink (a big thanks to his China foster Mom!!) She raised him well. I barely have to discipline this boy. A stern look and just saying his name makes him crumble...Lily on the other hand...umm, I'd like to have words with her foster Mom...she was SPOILED! Actually, Lily is doing fantastic now, but it took months of daily showing her that the universe did not revolve around her. 

Here are some common phrases Johnny uses:

"Check it out!"

"Why you do that?"

"How that work?"

"I dunno."

And, of course, "ticka." (Still don't know what it means; it's the only Chinese word he uses anymore.)

Lily talks in basics...she cuts all the fluff out of the English language...but it's the WAY she talks that's funny. She has a very low voice that is sometimes shocking to people and very comical. She sounds like, umm, well...ET. Or Roz off of Monsters Inc...but probably mostly like Edna from The Incredibles...I need to teach her how to say "darling" like Edna..."daaahhhhling," tee hee. I know God has a sense of humor because I requested a video of Lily before we went to China and do you think she said one word in that entire video? Not one. I remember watching the video of Lily over and over and thinking...I wonder why I received this video and didn't hear one word from a girl they claim is extroverted...I wonder if she has a funny voice...that would be just like God to have me adopt a cartoon character.  

And that is exactly what she is. She has everyone wrapped around her finger...including the dog. She torments the dog mercilessly but takes food off her plate and intentionally drops it on the floor for her, so our poor puppy endures the abuse for the food.  Umm...total side note here...as I'm typing, Lily is playing X-box and just kissed R2D2 on the screen and said, "Hi baby." Ok...that was disturbing.

Alright, back to our regular scheduled program:

My favorite word she says is "careful," but she says "share pole" instead. 

They are both so stinkin' cute...I wish I could adopt 20 kiddos from China!! 

I know not everyone has fairytale endings. I totally get that. I just read a post from a lady who went to China at about the same time I did. Her child was listed as "developmentally delayed." The description made it sound mild...it was not...her child will need lifetime care. I cannot fathom that. And I know that some people take months and years to bond with their children. I'm not trying to take away from that. But all I can say, is that for MY family, and OUR experience, being in China was ROUGH, the 3 months after were just as rough...but it gradually got easier. I did not force any expectations upon myself, Johnny and Lily, or the rest of our family. I allowed us to bond on our own time. Although Johnny and Lily bonded to me right away, it honestly was at about 4 months home that I was 100% connected to them. 

That's the beauty of adoption: everyone's experience is different. If God told you to do it, if it's on your heart and not going away, then He will see you through it all the way...through bonding, through post-adoption depression, all  of it...He's bigger than all of it. 

His grace goes with us!