What If?

Last week or so, I joined a Yahoo group concerning adoption.  This particular group has pictures of children who are waiting to be adopted.  I love looking through those kinds of pictures, as I often see these kiddos later on in someone's blog after they've been adopted.  Well, I was sitting in my chair just lazily browsing through the pictures when one pic caught my eye...it was my son.  I just stared at it.  I had no idea he was on a photo listing sight somewhere.  

Then I began to go over all the info listed about him.  The agency that he was listed with at that time was not my agency.  It was an agency that has an odd name, but for some reason (I now know why) I had been drawn to their photo page over and over since I began this process about a year ago.  Sometimes I would go to their photo page daily. I kept thinking I would find my son on that page...little did I know he was with that agency the whole time, but I needed a passcode to see his particular photo.   

Next, I looked at the date my little guy's pic was posted...April.  I remember doing EVERYTHING I could to get to China by spring.  I did everything I could in my power to move my adoption faster, but the process would not budge and I couldn't figure out why...now I know...my little boy was not listed with my agency yet.  I had to receive my little girl's referral first to give his file time to make it's way to my agency.  I remember people asking me why I was asking for my little girl's referral first and I remember saying, "I don't know why, I just feel led to get a referral for a girl first and then wait for a referral for a boy."  That's called your inner witness, your gut instinct.  It's a knowing that you have in your heart, and you're led by peace. 

Had I tried to force "the timing door," I would have missed out on my son...that cute little treasure at the top of this page.  I now understand the waiting "game" with adoption and with life.  Now that I understand why that process took so long, it makes the memory sweeter in my heart, rather than the bitter feeling that was there...the lingering "why."   These are the little bread crumbs; the trail God drops in front of me to lead me on to China.  

Some people may call it pure coincidence.  There's no such thing.  If you have not seen the hand of God in your life, then perhaps your ignoring the bread crumbs.  They are there, whether you acknowledge them or not.  We will all stand before God one day and give an account of all the signs He posted along the way...and whether we followed them, or ignored them.